Unfortunately, most women (and even men) have this attitude when it comes to modesty—“if he has a problem with the way I dress, that’s his problem. He should control his hormones.” But people who say this are unaware of the differences between men and women. As the saying goes, men are from Mars and women are from Venus.
Men are created to be visual. That means that they are affected more by things their eyes see, especially when it comes to sexuality. On the other hand, women are primarily stimulated by what their brains see. A hunk with a body oozing with machismo would catch their attention, but words will make their imagination go further than what they can see. As one local artist replied when asked why she wouldn’t pose for sexy pictures, “I know there are a lot of people who may not be aroused by my pictures, but I’m not comfortable with the idea that even a few men could possibly make me the object of their lust.”
That’s what happens when we don’t dress with modesty—people focus more on what we are versus on who we are. We become more like objects used to stir up the senses, than persons to give complete lives to. If you want people to respect or love you for who you really are, don’t distract them with immodest clothes.
There’s no denying that our bodies speak a language. Studies show that 55% of what we communicate is directly impacted by our actions; only 7% are by what we say and 38% by how we speak. Actor Eduardo Verastegui realized this when he decided to quit his high-paying roles. He was considered Latin America’s Brad Pitt, but seeing that the roles he was taking were not helping people draw nearer to God, he didn’t think twice about shifting to roles that spoke the language of chastity. He wasn’t making X-rated films, but he saw how what he was doing could negatively affect people. He left even if it could mean the end of his career.
Dressing with modesty doesn’t mean you need to look ugly. It simply means respecting one another by considering the possibility of stirring others into lust, the sin Jesus said someone can commit just by thinking with it.
More importantly, it is your tool of pushing people to not look at you as an object. With modesty, you are able to make them look beyond what they see and get to know who you really are – God’s creation. Do you want them to see something sacred, or something merely to lust for? Do you want to be seen merely as an object of pleasure, or be someone loved with authenticity? What you wear doesn’t define who you are, but it sends a message whether you like it or not. If you’re not a person of lust, don’t send that message.
Chocolates aren’t bad, but if we eat more than we need to, we lose out on things that matter most. There’s a proper place for chocolates in our meals and in our time of day. There’s also a proper amount for it. If we don’t follow that, slowly but surely, it’ll take its toll on us and we may even end up not being able to eat chocolates in the future.
It’s the same with sexuality. Chastity is our proper eating habit and modesty is one of our measuring tools. So don’t lose out by getting and giving more than what’s just right. Oh, and more importantly think about the “chocoholics” who may be having a hard time. We are all responsible for each other. As St. Paul said, it is not right to do "anything that makes your brother stumble” (Rom 14:21).
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