Saturday, July 16, 2011

a love/hate relationship that's all about love

Love the sinner, hate the sin. We constantly hear the Church tell that, and a lot disagree by saying that we can't separate the sin from the sinner -- i.e. what a person does is who he is. But I say, that is not the point.

The problem is that we have come to a point when we measure a person's value by what that person does. The Church doesn't see it that way, learning from Jesus' example.

John teaches us, God loved us first! We know how to love because He loved us first (1 Jn 4:19). But what does God's "first love" concept really mean? We first need to review the fundamental concept of what it means for God to be God.

The primary concept we need to remember is that for God to be God He has to be complete -- i.e. He doesn't need nor long for anything that will increase His happiness or who He is. This should make us understand what it means for God to create us out of love. This means that He doesn't need us to be happy. God is not a dependency addict who got bored and decided to create man. When He said He created man for man's good, that man experience His love and find joy, He means it.

Keeping that in mind, we should see what the Bible says in a new way. God knows us even before we were born (Jer 1:5). God knows we fill fail Him, even hurt Him. Yet He created us! In fact, created us with a promise of love. Love that promises to pull us back to the light, love that even lead to His death and humiliation on the cross.

This should tell us how to deal with people who hurt us or people who don't jive with our thoughts. This is what the Church wants to keep reminding us on. Hate the sin, not the sinner.

Pope Benedict XVI answers the question, why did Jesus die on the cross when He could've brought the angels to show His glory or prove to people that He is God? His answer, because God knows it is not power that will change people but love. It is not hate or show of supremacy that will make others jive with us. It is love!

When someone hurts you, you don't react by pushing them away or casting them out of your life. Rather, you embrace them more, even cast yourself away for them, to win them. This will not be easy as we have been accustomed to stay away from the dirty ones to keep us clean, versus getting our hands "dirty" to help them clean up.

We do not throw tantrums, but rather patience, understanding, and a helping hand. We do not make people feel bad, sad and worthless, but rather hopeful that someone loves them despite of and in spite of who they are, but cares enough to help them draw nearer to God.

Impossible? Yes! But the Church also tells us to let God be God. Let Him do what He needs to do. You just need to let Him use you. You don't need to make a miracle. You just need to trust that He will make the miracle for you.

It is not our job to judge others, even if they are hard criminals. Jesus reminds us about righteousness and exalting oneself when He said that even people like Pharisees who are by the book abiding citizens can be the worst, and tax collectors people at that time see as vile can be pleasing to His eyes (Lk 18:9-14). In fact He even challenges us to love our enemies (Mt 5:44)! Why? Because it's all about love!

Understandably, sometimes this can mean us being firm or even being silent when faced with a difficult person or situation, but the question we need to ask ourselves is, "Are we reacting out of love or merely out of irritation? Is our reaction focused on ourselves or on others? Is it borne out of love or just out of us being hurt? Am I doing anything for a positive change or am I just plain angry?"

The answer to those will tell you if you're moving towards a mature relationship with God, or going further from the love and happiness God has in store for you.

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