Okay, now that you understand what love is as God designed it for us, being created in His image, what has chastity got to do with it? How come it’s not negative as "abstinence" as mentioned before? Blessed Mother Teresa once received an honorary doctorate at Harvard University and went on to speak about the beauty of chastity.".
"Young people, there is nothing more important than for you to be chaste."".
The graduates sat for a moment in befuddled silence, unsure of what she was talking about.".
"You must be chaste; your body is a temple," she continued.".
Some audience members brightened and said to one another, "Yeah, I want to be chased! Sure, chase me all you want!" ".
16,000 pocket dictionaries were sold that afternoon because nobody ever heard the word before. What is chastity that even Mother Teresa calls it beautiful and very important, yet still misunderstood?".
Imagine this scenario...
Student: Is it OK for my girlfriend and me to...
Teacher: NO.
Student: What if we just...
Teacher: NO.
Student: But what if we really...
Teacher: NO. NO. NO. Just don’t. Be good boys and girls. Hold hands and go to a pumpkin patch together, then play board games with her family and be home by 7PM. Otherwise you’ll get her pregnant, die of an STD, and go to hell. Class dismissed. Have a fun weekend.
The scenario above is more focused on "abstinence" than it is on chastity. Chastity is not merely about a set of rules or morals. It is about understanding how God designed us and how we can use that design to bring us closer to God and the people around us. Abstinence is part of chastity depending on your state of life, but abstinence alone is not chastity. Chastity is a lifestyle; it is a virtue (a firm habit of doing what is good)!
Chastity is the virtue that directs our sexual desires and attitudes towards the truth of love, being created in God’s image and likeness. It is much more than abstinence, which just means "not having sex, not doing this, not doing that". It is a virtue of controlling and moderating our desire for pleasure, thus enabling us to enjoy pleasure in good things the way God intends. But it is not merely about controlling, but learning how to love another rightly. It’s saying "yes" to the demands of love, and saying "no" to lust, which robs us and others of dignity. It is refusing to let lust take over and destroy love.
Most people think of it as "hiding" our sexual energy by ignoring it. That is repression and not chastity. We’ll see next week why sex is good, and why repression is not the proper response to it. It’s notable to mention, however, that repression can lead to a "slingshot" effect when we can’t hold it in anymore. Chastity is acknowledging the power of our sexual desire and guiding them with the deeper desire to love another, and not to use others for our own pleasure or benefits.
Some single people may ask, "So having sex outside marriage isn’t necessarily bad? We both agree to it. It’s not like I’m using her, or that we do it often." Yes, their feelings for each other may be sincere, but what they are doing puts them at risk and presents a lot of consequences--physical, emotional, character and spiritual damage--we’ll discuss on our future discussions. It’s not putting the best of the other at priority. This is not "looking out for each other" and therefore not what love or chastity is all about. This is at the core, a "pizza love". Pope John Paul II said, "only chaste men and women are capable of love". Why? Because they understand what real love is and strive to live it.
Chastity isn’t just about what you’re not allowed to do but what you can and must not do to come to real love. It is a lifestyle. It is understanding that love is not merely of comfort and convenience. It’s understanding what love really is, how it makes us complete and how we can live it. Chastity doesn’t end with just "not doing it"..
Next in this series...
Let's have a review of what we've learned so far.
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