Saturday, August 10, 2013

in love... but miserable?

In love, but miserable? I’m so sorry you feel this way! You should not have to.

If you are lonely, a boyfriend is not the way to cure the problem. In fact, I guarantee that it will only make it worse.

Our culture so often links self-esteem to getting attention from the opposite sex and being “in love”. This is distorted and downright cruel.

If you are lonely, the best way to deal with your loneliness is by reaching out and making friends. Boyfriends are often temporary. Good friends are permanent—they stick with you through your life, and they don’t “break up” with you when they find another friend.

You didn’t mention your family. If you have one, spend time with them. Work to build those relationships and to make them strong. They will be your family for life, so you may as well get along as well as possible.
Do things that get you out of yourself. Find out what talents God gave you and develop them. Reach out in love to others who are lonely—people who are sick, people in nursing homes, and so on. It is amazing what giving a little love can do.

Most important of all, of course, is to develop a relationship with the divine Source of all love—God. Your self-esteem should not come from a boyfriend. It should come from the fact that you are created in the image and likeness of God and that He loved you enough to die for you. That love, dignity and respect you will never get from a mere mortal boyfriend! Remember what God did for you and how much He loves you. Stay in regular contact with Him.

I know all of this may be easier said than done. If you are feeling bad about yourself, and if it doesn’t get better with new friendships and prayer, make a couple of appointment with a good Christian therapist. I honestly believe that good, Christ-based counseling can help everyone at one point or another in his life. There are often deeper emotional reasons for our insecurities and fears. Find out what yours are, expose them to the light and then trust God to help you deal with them.

Until you have done all this, don’t worry about finding a boyfriend. Worry about finding yourself. Then, when it is time, you will be in a much better position to pick a great guy, instead of just taking the first one to come along.

from...
Real Love
by Mary Beth Bonacci

Friday, August 9, 2013

is chastity the same thing as abstinence?

Abstinence means that a person is not sexually active. If I heard that a guy was abstinent, that would not tell me much about him. Maybe he is a man with courage and character and is saving himself for his bride. Maybe he just can not find a date. Either way, abstinence is defined as what is not happening to a person’s body—in other words, no sex.

Chastity is different because it is defined by what a person is doing with his or her sexuality. It means having the strength to use your sexuality according to God’s plan, whether you are single or married. Living this virtue purifies your heart, heals your memories, strengthens your will, and glorifies God with your body. For an unmarried person it is sexuality dedicated to hope—saving sex for marriage. An unmarried person who has already had sex can still choose to be chaste by starting over.


For the married and the unmarried it means having reverence for the gift of sex. Chastity is a virtue that defends love from selfishness and frees us from using others as objects. It makes us capable of authentic love. In short, abstinence ends in marriage but chastity holds marriage together.

from...
If You Really Loved Me
by Jason Evert

Thursday, May 16, 2013

consumed by the finite // 2013.05.16

Have you seen an episode of A&E's Hoarders? If not, it's a TV series that goes to houses of people that hoards practically everything to the point that they literally have no more place to live in within their own home. Hoarders basically forget that not everything will fit in their house. Imagine 80% of your house filled with anything, regardless if useful or not.

Think about that and imagine how impossible it is for a finite creature to contain the Infinite. We're not even talking about making the ocean fit in one pail. The ocean doesn't even compare with an everlasting supply of water. How can we, finite humans, ever contain our Infinite God? The answer is Jesus.

One of the greatest mystery of our Christian faith is Jesus' incarnation, when God took the form of man to be one with us. The psalmist asks, "what is mankind that you are mindful of them?" That God who is infinite and lacks nothing reaches out to a finite creature that even rejects Him?

Jesus tells us in today's Gospel that God wants us to be one with Him. The Infinite who lacks nothing has an Infinite love that He seeks to share, and through Jesus, we are able to receive this love -- because through Him we have been made full members of God's family!

And just so you won't miss this great mystery, Jesus instituted the Sacrament of the Eucharist. In case you're still unaware of how big and great this is, we believe that the Eucharist we receive is Jesus Himself. Think about it, God enters you every Mass!

And so we pray, thank you God for your infinite love, that love so great that it seeks us sinful people to be partakers however unworthy we are. We thank you for the Incarnation and the Eucharist, that we can call ourselves members of your Church, members of your family. We pray that we may be able to at least give You ourselves without anything held back.

Click here to read today's readings.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

a promise kept after a seeming departure // 2013.05.12

We are all created to love.

The Church tells us that we can only find our lives in an authentic giving of oneself to others. That is why funerals are always filled with sad and crying people. They mourn that they may be able to release all their sadness and be able to move on.

It was the same when Jesus ascended to heaven. The Apostles felt the same as if someone died. They trusted Jesus and His promise of not leaving them by themselves, but they still had to face the sadness of their loved one parting.

Did they remain desolate and alone? No. Jesus kept His promise and the Holy Spirit filled them with God's love. Their zeal returned and they knew for real that Jesus is still with them, even more than before.

Today, trust that even if you didn't live when Jesus walked the earth you, He is still with you. Let the Holy Spirit fill you with God's love, and receive Him in the Sacrament of the Eucharist.

Friday, May 10, 2013

as accurate as it can get // 2013.05.11

Click here to read today's readings.

Anyone caught in God's love can easily understand someone like Apollos in today's readings. He studied the Scriptures very thoroughly, was instructed in the Way of the Lord, and most importantly, had an ardent spirit for God. Why not use his gift of eloquence to speak about Him?

Unfortunately, Scripture does not interpret itself. A verse can mean many things which are not always evident. And while it is easy to "fish" for thoughts in God's words, it is also easy to "hook" the wrong ideas from it without even knowing it.

As the Bible itself states, "no prophecy of Scripture is a matter of one's own interpretation" (2 Peter 1:20). It also tells us of Phillip who tells God's angel that someone needs to guide him (Acts 8:30). How then can one know with certainty that he is not interpreting God's word on his own, or that his guide is also not doing the same?

Reading further, we see Priscilla and Aquila approaching Apollos, teaching Him more accurately. They are traditionally listed as one of the seventy disciples, and are thus authorized teachers of the Church. Jesus promised that the gates of hell will not prevail against His church, so we can be assured that they are teaching what Jesus taught.

Thousands of years after, we still have the Church from Peter and the other disciples, to Francis and all the other bishops who have inherited the office of teaching us inerrantly in matters of faith and morals.

The Bible is the best book you'll ever read, but always look at the Church whom Jesus left to safeguard its truths.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

with loots of toys promised // 2013.05.10

My father was working abroad when I grew up, and being a child, you can't blame me for being excited when he'd ask me what I want and tell me that he'd buy it for me when he returns home.

Unfortunately, even at a young age, I yearned for my father to be beside me more than the toys. We'd exchange a lot of letters to each other and talk over the telephone whenever possible, whenever I see my neighbors' dads with them, you can imagine how easily I become sad and easily forget about the promise of toys, clothes and out of towns.

In today's Gospel, Jesus tells His disciples that He will leave, and that the world will make them suffer. The world will rejoice while you will suffer, make you think that God has forsaken you, make you forget about His promises, and tell you to live your life like there's no tomorrow.

But Jesus assures us, "your grief will become joy... your hearts will rejoice,
and no one will take your joy away from you." And to top it all, He tells us, "whatever you ask the Father in my name He will give you". That definitely sounds more exciting than the loot of toys my dad promises.

Tired and weary of the world's pull? Confused with what the world is trying to offer? Envious of those that make you feel like you're missing a lot if you'll stick with God? Don't be! God is way more than enough. Hold on and know that God loves you. And just as I was comforted by my dad's words and letters while he was abroad, let God always comfort you when you pray to Him. You'll be surprised at how much He really is with you!

Click here to read today's readings.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

to bleed or not to bleed

Forbidding blood transfusion is arguably the most controversial belief of the Jehovah’s Witnesses, being questioned not only by other religions but by secularists as well. The Witnesses would allow organ transplants, but would rather die than accept blood transfusion—in whole or with any of its four primary components (red cells, white cells, platelets and plasma)—even for critical medical emergencies they or their loves ones are in. Those who permit blood transfusion are disassociated and shunned by members of the organization. Note that transfusion of minor parts like albumin, immunoglobulins and hemophiliac preparations are not prohibited.

Interestingly, their position was quite different when they first adopted the name “Jehovah’s Witnesses” back in 1931. Then president and founder, Charles Taze Russel, as well as his successor, Joseph Franklin Rutherford, held that blood transfusions are acceptable and even commendable practice!

This started to change under their third president, Nathan Homer Knorr, who asserted that the Bible forbade eating or drinking of blood whether by transfusion or by the mouth. Ironically, the Watch Tower Society in Netherlands commented that refusing blood transfusion is an invention of people who are like the Pharisees who leave mercy and love aside.

In 1945, it was further made clear that blood transfusion, whether between different people or with stored own blood, was prohibited. However, no sanction was provided. In 1961, they made it clear this is a serious violation when they specified that anyone who will do so will be disfellowed and could potentially lose hope of eternal life.

In 1982, their Awake! magazine stated that minor blood components are allowed. It was further expanded to include hemodilution, that is, diluting a patient’s extracted blood with glucose and heparin solution prior to transfusion. In 2000, fractions of any of the primary components are allowed after carful and prayerful meditation of the patient.

It makes one think that if the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses are directed by God, He must be changing His mind frequently. Also, why did He have to wait so many decades for such a critical doctrine to be revealed as such? What does God really say to us in Scripture?


Covenant with Noah

Genesis 9:3-4 states, “Every moving animal that is alive may serve as food for you. As in the case of green vegetation, I do give it all to you. Only flesh with its soul—its blood—you must not eat.” (New World Translation of the Jehovah’s Witnesses).

This is one of the core passages the Witnesses use to support their belief. However, this command is about respect for animal life during the ritual of slaughter, and does not state blood could not be eaten. In its strict Hebrew wording, it means an animal should not have flesh torn off it for food while the animal is still alive. It was understood back then that it should be bled when killed for food, or what’s called the command against eating strangled animals.

It is no surprise then that even the Watchtower originally recognised it as not applying to eating blood: "All reasonable minds must conclude that it was not the eating of the blood that God objected to, but it was bringing the blood of the beast in contact with the blood of man." (Golden Age 1931 Feb 4 p.294)

Thus, Deuteronomy 14:21 allowed Israelites to sell unbled animals found dead to non-Israelites. As the animal was already dead, due respect for its life was sensibly given to it unlike if it is eaten while still alive. David’s action in 2 Samuel 23:13-16 exemplifies this when he refused to drink water given to him by men who didn’t show sanctity for their lives – i.e. it is not literal blood but respect for life that matters to God.


The Mosaic Law

Another core verse the Witnesses use is Leviticus 17:10-12 which states, “As for any man of the house of Israel or some alien resident who is residing as an alien in your midst who eats any sort of blood, I shall certainly set my face against the soul that is eating the blood, and I shall indeed cut him off from among his people.”

Yet this too was related to the ritual of bleeding, not the blood itself. This is seen just a few verses after with Leviticus 17:15, “As for any soul that eats a body already dead or something torn by a wild beast, whether a native or an alien resident, he must in that case wash his garments and bathe in water and be unclean until the evening; and he must be clean.”

Note that eating unbled animal already found dead did not merit death penalty, but rather required people to bathe due to being unclean from handling a dead body. But even if that was not the case, remember that any divine command that comes after modifies divine commands that came earlier. This is because God’s commands mature as His people mature. The command changes, but not its essence or rationale.

That said, it is worth noting that Jesus eradicated all dietary laws by declaring all food clean (Mark 7:18-19). Thus, it was no longer problematic for Him to ask His disciples to drink His blood during the Last Supper, regardless if it was symbolic or not. Put simply, the command against drinking blood has passed away, for “these are only a shadow of what is to come, but the substance belongs to Christ. Therefore, let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink” (Colossians 2:17-16).


Acts 15:20-21

This verse is perhaps the key verse the Witnesses use to support their belief on blood transfusion since it is in the New Testament. It asks Christians “to abstain from things polluted by idols and from fornication and from what is strangled and from blood. For from ancient times Moses has had in city after city those who preach him, because he is read aloud in the synagogues on every Sabbath.”

We need to take into consideration the historical and religious setting at this time to fully understand what this passage really means. To begin, the situation here was very specific–the Jewish Christians were having difficulty accepting Gentile Christians, particularly regarding circumcision. The Apostles and seniors of the Early Church convened and decided that observation of the Mosaic Law was unnecessary.

However, a “discipline” was felt needed to ease acceptance of the Gentile Christians by the Jewish Christians. The Church Fathers were avoiding the Jewish Christians being scandalized by the Gentile Christians who are not bound by these practices, or more importantly, that they will not stumble in their faith by seeing their new Gentile brothers and sisters not giving their beliefs any importance.

In other words, this was not a doctrine but a “practice” decided to ensure unity of the Church. In fact, St. Paul reminds the Christians at Rome and Corinth that they should stop judging food restrictions, and that they should be careful with their “etiquette” when around people who still abide by the old practices (see Romans 14:1-14 and 1 Corinthians).

It wouldn’t make sense for Jesus and the Apostles to preach that we need not abide by old Jewish practices and declare the dietary laws are lifted, if they would still hold people accountable with what they eat. So why have a special list of “practices” in Acts 15:20-21? Because these are based on the laws given to Noah and of utmost importance to the Christian Jews. As both the Jewish and Gentile Christians grew more into the Apostle’s teaching, this became less of an issue.

It makes sense that in the New Testament, eating blood is never mentioned in any other context. It was never mentioned as a reason to shun a brother or sister by any of the Apostles, including John. If avoiding blood was a key requirement by God, it would’ve been mentioned excessively alongside sins such as fornication, murder and idolatry which are repeatedly condemned in the New Testament. But that is not the case since it is respect for life in its essence that is really important to God, and not that which merely symbolizes it.


The Last Supper and Pikuach Nefesh

Jesus commanded His Apostles to eat His flesh and drink His blood, and even asked them to do this in remembrance of Him. Non-Catholics will say that Jesus was just speaking symbolically, or some will say that it is okay since it is His flesh and blood He was talking about and not an animal. But even if He was speaking symbolically, it would be a great contradiction for Him to ask us to act out symbolically what is intrinsically evil, right? And even if He is speaking of His flesh and blood, remember that the major rationale for the dietary law was respect for life. While it may sound good that Jesus is asking us to partake of His life, it still means we are “intentionally” killing Him, or basically disrespecting His life.

But perhaps Jesus following the principle of pikuach nefesh is the greatest argument from Him. Jews would go at great lengths to soak meat in water, salt it and drain to draw out all blood as part of their kosher dietary laws based on the Old Testament, but none of them would forbid blood transfusions. This is because life-saving acts hold importance over them. This is what the rabbinic principle of pikuach nefesh states. Consider what Jesus did when challenged by the Pharisees regarding not working on a Sabbath, a practice very strict during that time (see Matthew 12:11, Mark 3:4-5 or Luke 6:7-10). Dietary laws are not part of the Ten Commandments but the Sabbath is. Yet Jesus tells us that life is important, and God will be happier if we choose to save it. Why place more importance on the symbol than the reality it symbolizes?


Final Thoughts

If it is wrong for a Witness to donate blood, it is worth asking where the blood fractions come from? While it is okay to receive blood fractions according to them, you’d still need to “bleed” wholly to get it, right? Isn’t that forbidden according to their belief?

Moreover, why allow a fraction or only specific components, when some of these comprise even a bigger percentage of blood? For example, white blood cells (1 per cent of blood volume) and platelets (0.17 per cent) are forbidden, yet albumin (2.2 per cent of blood volume) is permitted.

If God forbids blood eating (and assuming it includes transfusion) out of respect for life, why would it be an issue if no one needs to die, and in fact would even save life?

Watchtower said on November 1, 1961 that, “The important thing is that respect has been shown for the sanctity of blood, regard has been shown for the principle of the sacredness of life. What God's law requires is that the blood be drained from the animal when it is killed, not that the meat be soaked in some special preparation to draw out every trace of it."

If we’ll follow that logic, eating blood shouldn’t be a problem if it was bled properly, right? And if the important thing is to show God respect for life, doesn’t giving priority to the symbol over the life it actually symbolize disrespects God who gave life? How can we say we respect life when we easily throw it away merely for the blood that symbolizes it?

We should all respect people’s religious belief, but people shouldn’t needlessly die over a belief that is found on wrong foundations.

Friday, October 19, 2012

chastity crash course p.6 // how we fell and got stuck in the ditch

positive and negative purity

Let's start with a short story...

In the early Christian church, several bishops were gathered outside a cathedral in Antioch, when a beautiful prostitute passed by on the street. The bishops looked away to avoid being seduced. Bishop Nonnus, however, stared intently at her, and then said to his fellow bishops, “Did not the wonderful beauty of that woman delight you?” The bishops remained silent. Nonnus insisted, “Indeed it delighted me,” but he wept for her.

When the prostitute saw how the bishop looked at her, she was surprised. No one had ever looked at her with such purity. He was not lusting after her, but rather saw something in her that she did not even see in herself. That simple purity of the bishop’s glance marked the beginning of her conversion to Christ. She soon returned to find him, and today, we know this former prostitute as St. Pelagia.



In St. Pelagia’s story, we see that there is power in the way a woman dresses for a man, but there is also great power in the way a man looks at a woman. Bishop Nonnus was not afraid of being forced to lust at the sight of a prostitute. Rather, her body called him to love her properly—he saw a sister in Christ. He possessed “positive purity”.

How about the other bishops? We can say they had “negative purity”. They were right to avoid the occasion of sin, knowing they may fall, but God ultimately wants to transform our hearts so that we aren’t afraid we will lust every time we see an attractive person. This freedom is what chastity enables us to have. When we see ourselves and others not as objects but as persons to love, that is chastity. It is possible, as St. Pelagia proves.


first original experiences

We mentioned last week that Original Sin destroyed the perfect design God created us with. This is why the bishops were afraid to look at the prostitute. Let’s continue to look at that today. You’ve probably heard a lot about Original Sin, but not much about how Adam and Eve were before that. What were they before they disobeyed God? There is really much to learn from them—what Pope John Paul II calls the “Original Man”.

We looked at the story of creation last time and found how God created us and found us to be “very good” (Gn 1:31). Adam had an intimate relationship with God—they talked and listened to each other. They were friends. Then God gave Adam dominion over the animals, allowing them to name him. He was above all other creations. Why? He is a spiritual being—he was created in the image and likeness of God. The Pope calls this the “Original Solitude” and is a start at knowing our identities.

However, God found something wrong with this solitude. God must’ve noticed how Adam got bored with all the animals parading before him for weeks or months for him to name. So he puts Adam to sleep, and when he woke up, Eve was in front of her! He notices she is the same as he is, though there are differences. She is a person! He decides to be with her and they become “one flesh”. His perfection is realized with someone with him. This is what the Pope calls “Original Unity”. Haven’t we experienced this in our lives as well? Read Sirach 6:14-16.

They then get married. At this point, all’s still pure, and Adam experienced sexual desire in a pure way. Adam saw in Eve the call to commune—to love—her and not to use her. Adam and Eve were naked because they were not afraid of the other using or abusing them. They understood each other and looked out for each other in perfect love. Their intimacy was of perfect safety from each other because of its purity.

At this point also, God gave His first command—“Be fruitful and multiply”. Notice that this comes after being “one” and after having no shame. This is how marriage and the relationship between man and woman were designed. It is pure and is the home of sexual relations. This is “Original Nakedness”. Look at how innocent children are carefree even when they are not clothed, and you’ll see a glimpse of this.

Now, what does the three Original Experiences tell us? We were created to have a relationship with God and with other human beings. We were created to be related, because God is a related being—Father loving the Son, the Son loving the Father, and the Love between them so infinite and real, the Holy Spirit—and we are created in the image and likeness of God. Sounds familiar? By looking at the beginning, we see how we’re meant to be. We see how God took care of man, looked after them and communed with them. How come this isn’t the case today?


Original Sin

The serpent came and told them that she’s missing out on something. Satan wanted them to believe that God was holding out on them, that God didn’t want them to be happy. That is the essence of the Original Sin—man turned away from God, not trusting His love. Adam and Eve wanted to be gods because they wanted to decide for themselves even when God loves completely, not to mention the one who created man out of love. Man lost innocence and purity because he has turned away from God’s perfect design. Original Sin can be called “Original Wound”. It is this wound that we inherited and is the reason why we are not seeing what we discussed so far.

Remember the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers? Try to recall the part when Gollum was arguing with Smeagol about Frodo’s concern for him. That’s what happened during the “fall” when man started to doubt God’s love for us.

In the same way that Smeagol went downhill, we went down as well. We lost trust in God and lost Original Solitude. Adam distrusted Eve for asking him to eat the fruit, and Eve distrusted Adam for not being there for him. We lost Original Unity. We stopped looking out for each other and thus lost Original Nakedness. It all began because we didn’t trust God.


Next in this series...
So man screwed up God’s awesome original plan. How do we fix it? Where can we find freedom and love after this?

Friday, October 5, 2012

the kid mode adult and the Dad // 2012.10.05


I love talking to kids because you get a lot of insights from them. For example, I never knew that cats are children of pigs and chickens, or that apples are actually oranges painted red! If I didn't know better, I'd probably believe them as they tell those things with such confidence and gusto. The way they tell it just makes you think they know what they're talking about.

But of course those are out of this world ideas, and I can imagine them lowering their head out of embarrassment while covering their mouths and giggling once they found out what's actually true.

Ironically, most of us keep our "kid mode" when dealing with God. As His children, we tell Him that we entrust our lives to Him, but when He shows us something we don't agree with, we end up being like toddlers who think we know better.

Fortunately, God is the ultimate Father. Despite our stubborness He promises to be with us. The psalmist assures us that even in darkness God is there to hold our hand and guide us.

What a wonderful assurance that is. The only question is are we going to finally let Him do so? Or are we going to be like rebels who run away upon realizing life isn't how they thought it was instead of receiving God's mercy?

Click here to read this day's readings.

chastity crash course p.5 // a quick "practical" recap

Try to click here (opens a new window) and answer the questions before continuing.

The questions aren’t meant to condemn you when you answer "yes" to them, rather they are wake-up calls that something needs to be worked out. It’s not easy, especially when they seem like hurdles to what makes us feel good, but all things are possible to God (Phil 4:13). When we understand chastity as something that frees us to love the other person the way they ought to be, which is far more beautiful than mere using, we’ll persevere for it.


bruce almighty

Remember that movie? Think about the part when Bruce just wants her fiancĂ© to love her by trying to "magic" her into it (about an hour into the movie). This is not real love as he only wants her because he’ll feel complete with her beside him.

How about the last part when Bruce saw her fiancĂ©e praying, and how he decided to give up his personal desires while talking to God (around an hour and 20 minutes into the movie)? That is real love, and what he’s trying to do--giving up to put his fiance in peace--is what chastity is about.


Read what the following people have to say...

C.S. Lewis:
"Lust is a weak, poor, whimpering, whispering thing when compared with that richness and energy of desire which will arise when lust has been killed."

Pope John Paul II:
"Man cannot live without love. He remains a being that is incomprehensible for himself, his life is senseless, if love is not revealed to him, he does not encounter love, if he does not experience it and make it his own, if he does not intimately participate in it."

1. What do you think of C.S. Lewis’ words?
2. Why can’t we live without love?
3. If any, share stories about people you respect because you see chastity in them. What is so attractive about their lives?

Let us take time to make a quick prayer...

"Lord, as You created us in Your image and likeness, we know that You created us out of love and for love. You created us for a union of love with each other just as You crated us to be together forever with You. Lord, help us to be open to learn, to live and to love like You. Amen."


Next in this series...
What is the difference between positive and negative purity? What does Adam and Eve have to do with chastity?